What I Love Best About China

什么路? Shen-me lu?

Perhaps one of the things I’ll miss the most about China when I’m back in New Zealand will be motorbike taxis. Just imagine walking out of the subway exit every morning to be greeted by a crew of hardened, tough-looking chaps, straddling beautiful road hog motorbikes that make you just love China. “Shen-me lu?” ("what street?") they rasp in a ‘I-smoke-too-much’ voice. You jump on the back; tell them your destination in broken Chinese, and hoon off down the street without so much as even donning a helmet. Totally dangerous, but I love it.

I love it I love it I love it.

Whenever I’m riding on one of these babies, with the wind blowing in my hair, I always remember how much I love China. They drive on the wrong side of the street, they often drive faster than cars, they weave in between cars, and they go down dodgy back-alleys that you’d never have seen otherwise – all for what would convert into a New Zealand dollar or two. Its not just fun, its spiritual: when they go too fast, it makes me pray!

Of course, my wife doesn’t approve. She says they’re all dirty thieves who would leave you to die if you fell off, who overcharge for their services, and who have been known to kidnap and rape women who just wanted a ride home. While all this is true to a certain degree, I never let that spoil my fun!

Some of the bikers I’ve had the privilege to ride with have been really decent blokes. At one point I was riding to work almost every day and I had a team of about five bikers who all knew me so well that I never had to tell them my destination, because they remembered. We all became quite good friends. One of them gave me a ride for free when I didn’t have the right change and told me I could repay her later, which I did.

Today's Mem: 动, Dong4, To Move

I had my bad experiences too of course; many bikers have taken advantage of my terrible level of Chinese by taking me the long way around and then charging me three times the normal price. Some advice for expats: never ask a biker how much money he wants! Just give him 5 yuan, and if he doesn’t like it you can haggle. I found that if I ask “duo shao qian?” ("how much?") they’ll all say 15-20 yuan without exception, but if I just give them 5 yuan without asking, they’ll smile and wish me a nice day.

So, say goodbye to everything you learned about helmets and road safety when you were a kid. TIC: This is China. Learn to love it baby.


Note: Today's mem could apply to bikes as well. The bikers are very strong people and their bikes puff clouds of smoke out the back - but they move you around. How about that, then eh?